This long forgotten feeling of 'I don't know what's going on because I don't know where this is going on and I don't know what had been going on before this started to go on'. I had to stop myself from reading spoilers, but I ended up reading them just to realise that knowing them doesn't make it any easier.
This feeling when words aren't necessary. There is so much I could discuss... I could say how stunning the art is, or that the story is obviously done by people who have something to say, or that Kouji Yusa can be an outstanding voice actor between involvements in 150% commercial otome-audio-drama production. But I don't have to defend 'Ergo proxy'. I'd offend it by offering my advocacy. It's already beautiful.
It's only up to the production committee whether an anime becomes one more money-maker filled with fan-service to the brim, or one more attempt to understand what human is, tackling the problem from all possible angles.
So I was desperately trying to understand what was going on in the world of 'Ergo proxy', but in fact... It wasn't that understanding which made me a richer person today. Even after understanding all the details, I may have come back to square one. But this journey was necessary.
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