There was a character in 'Working' named Inami Mahiru who used to say 'I'm the type who makes progress when praised.' I didn't like her very much as she seemed a bit muddle-headed to me, but those words really struck me. I couldn't help thinking 'oh but I am the same,' even though Mahiru-chan uttering those words was supposed to be funny - I guess it was implied that there is no such type and Mahiru-chan simply invented the saying.
However I do belong to the same type. I think I do...
Well, am I mistaken? Being a LII (INTj) means that in many cases I am able to spot my own mistakes myself due to my negativism, and I see how I can improve my way of doing things due to my good intuition, and as I am introverted I tend to change myself rather than the others, or the environment.
Moreover, when I receive words of praise not only I never (I hope never...) put on airs, but I also feel almost ashamed that my achievement was that noticeable and outstanding.
Now tell me if you have ever met a person who only praises and never scolds? I am trying to say, most people either practise carrots and sticks policy, or simply point out only mistakes believing that only mistakes prevent people from reaching perfection.
Still, here I am, who hates being critisised or when my nose is rubbed into the fact that I failed to do smth or was unsuccessful. This doesn't mean I receive no recommendations, but LII is famous for his stubbornness and being sure that he always does everything right. Multiply it by his dislike for shouting, crying etc. in a loud voice. Therefore, the more scolding - the less results.
Being surrounded mainly by negative types as myself, praise is not a thing I hear very often, especially a praise I would like to hear. Negative types are able to praise, but their praise often sound like an offence. There are a lot of jokes like saying 'oh Maria, you look so good! Have you finally lost some weight?' to a friend who didn't consider herself fat. Many negativists praise you the same way - 'congratulations! I never expected you even to approach such heights!' making you look like a loser who incidentally made a success, or vice versa - 'congratulations, though I knew you would have this result. 'twould be strange if you didn't achieve it...' - in other words, you surprised no one, and your achievement is a natural thing and nothing special.
Unexpected praise is the most valuable, isn't it? A praise directed to you when you think you did nothing beyond average but people think that was important, when you think you had no other choice but people think you could simply give up, when you did something as you considered it proper, but people actually were delighted. Is it strange that such a praise makes me so happy that I have the courage to go on, and even more than that, regret that my efforts were not that great to be worthy of the praise?
But still... is there a person who often praises and, when critisising is necessary, is able to do it so that 'twould rather look like a friendly recommendation?
However I do belong to the same type. I think I do...
Well, am I mistaken? Being a LII (INTj) means that in many cases I am able to spot my own mistakes myself due to my negativism, and I see how I can improve my way of doing things due to my good intuition, and as I am introverted I tend to change myself rather than the others, or the environment.
Moreover, when I receive words of praise not only I never (I hope never...) put on airs, but I also feel almost ashamed that my achievement was that noticeable and outstanding.
Now tell me if you have ever met a person who only praises and never scolds? I am trying to say, most people either practise carrots and sticks policy, or simply point out only mistakes believing that only mistakes prevent people from reaching perfection.
Still, here I am, who hates being critisised or when my nose is rubbed into the fact that I failed to do smth or was unsuccessful. This doesn't mean I receive no recommendations, but LII is famous for his stubbornness and being sure that he always does everything right. Multiply it by his dislike for shouting, crying etc. in a loud voice. Therefore, the more scolding - the less results.
Being surrounded mainly by negative types as myself, praise is not a thing I hear very often, especially a praise I would like to hear. Negative types are able to praise, but their praise often sound like an offence. There are a lot of jokes like saying 'oh Maria, you look so good! Have you finally lost some weight?' to a friend who didn't consider herself fat. Many negativists praise you the same way - 'congratulations! I never expected you even to approach such heights!' making you look like a loser who incidentally made a success, or vice versa - 'congratulations, though I knew you would have this result. 'twould be strange if you didn't achieve it...' - in other words, you surprised no one, and your achievement is a natural thing and nothing special.
Unexpected praise is the most valuable, isn't it? A praise directed to you when you think you did nothing beyond average but people think that was important, when you think you had no other choice but people think you could simply give up, when you did something as you considered it proper, but people actually were delighted. Is it strange that such a praise makes me so happy that I have the courage to go on, and even more than that, regret that my efforts were not that great to be worthy of the praise?
But still... is there a person who often praises and, when critisising is necessary, is able to do it so that 'twould rather look like a friendly recommendation?
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